PayPal story, part three - The Hypocrisy

The story goes on. Some weeks ago, I posted the first part of my absurd PayPal experience and since the 1 month period (which PayPal "generously" gave me to resolve the "issue") is over, I am back with new information (even more absurd) to share.

First of all, let me recapitulate the facts. As of 6th May 2009, PayPal accused me of breaking their acceptable use policy by involving gambling activities at BrainKing game site and using my PayPal account for this criminal and contemptible purpose. Despite my numerous attempts to prove them wrong and vindicate BrainKing as a safe and non-gambling server, their responses were always the same. We decided that you were the bad guy and we do not accept your proofs of innocence. Why? Because. It is our right and you can do nothing about it.

Actually, now I really don't care what PayPal thinks about me and BrainKing because I made all necessary things to ensure that no funds remain on my PayPal account and no further PayPal orders can be made at BrainKing. In other words, PayPal cannot steal any money from me anymore, ergo I can post here anything I want. Which is what I am doing.

I have received a email from PayPal today. The subject is Notification of Limited Account Access and I am going to comment the best parts of it.

"We have recently reviewed your account and have noticed that you are still selling items on your website that violate our Acceptable Use Policy."

Another collision with idiots. First, we don't sell any items at BrainKing, only services. Second, PayPal's statement does not specify which items violate their policy and how. Regarding their previous responses, all BrainKing services violate their policy and although it is not true, the only logical way to resolve this issue would be to make BrainKing free of charge for everyone. It is very unlikely to happen.

"We value you as a member of our community and wish to continue this relationship, so we ask that you remove all items from your website that violate our Acceptable Use Policy."

Nice joke, really. A member that is really valued would deserve at least a personalized response written by an open-minded human being, not an automatic responding machine. Moreover, if I remove all "items" they refer to, there would be nothing else to sell, so what kind of "we wish to continue this relationship" bullshit is that supposed to be?

"Until you do so, your account access will be limited. Failure to comply will result in closure of your account."

Oh sure, that's exactly the type of friendly answer a valued member can expect from PayPal. I am sorry guys but, given these circumstances, I will be happy if you close my account and never bother me anymore. At least they didn't have a chance to steal my money - on the contrary, it can still happen in the future. Read on.

"For your protection, we have limited access to your account until additional security measures can be completed. We apologize for any inconvenience this may cause."

For my WHAT!? I don't remember that I ever asked PayPal to protect me because, from my point of view, they only work as a "middle man" and have nothing to do with our seller-customer relationship. It reminds me the prohibition times (you know, Chicago in thirties of the last century) - we will "protect" you, whether you want it or not, and if you refuse to pay for this service, your bar will be blown up. Hush money?

Let me continue. PayPal, with its incredible cheek, still presents itself as a honorable company and give me a chance to "resolve" the limitation. So I have looked at the details of this limitation and, again, I don't believe my eyes:

What can I do while my account access is limited?
a) add funds by an electronic funds transfer
b) place logos into your auction listings or on your website
c) update your account information

What can't I do while my account access is limited?
a) receive payments
b) send or request money
c) close your account

In other words, they kindly allow me to:

a) Send them more money from my bank account or credit card and never see them again.
b) Encourage auction bidders to pay me with PayPal although I cannot accept PayPal payments.
c) Give PayPal more credit card numbers, so they can misuse them in the future.

Oh, what the hell. I don't want to use PayPal anymore, so what's the catch? Well, since I don't trust them a single word and the limitation description says that I can update my account information, I have decided to visit the "update account" page and remove my credit card number. The response has been short, direct and fearsome: You cannot remove this credit card because access to your account has been limited.

To be continued soon. Part four - The Extortion.